Random cultural observations …
- RUDOLF HESS LEVELS.
How was last night for you? It was difficult to recreate the thrill of getting launched by a geriatric man in a red and white scarf on the way out of the ground, of wondering if your car would be on bricks when you got back to it, or even the embarrassment of watching social media footage of our yoofs acting out their Danny Dier fantasies on the train.
It wasn’t quite the same without the cunt with the loud hailer trying to generate the noise while having a stroke and now that Reg has gone, so has some of the edge, although to be fair to the coaching staff they do seem to be trying to make up for it.
I didn’t want to give them a tenner (which admittedly doesn’t make a huge amount of sense as I’d have been giving them more than that if I’d been able to buy a ticket.) I didn’t want to listen to Radio Kent either, knowing it was likely to be “Mr Get In” on the wheels of steel.
This effectively meant following the game on Twitter, which only ramps up the tension. By half time I realised that checking my phone every 30 seconds was bad for my mental health, so I decided to leave it until I knew the game would be over. At 9:42, heart beating like a fucked clock, I peeked and thought — well that’ll do. Because I hate losing a whole lot more than I enjoy winning.
2. RICHIE BENAUD?
Anyone who remembers the play-off final will remember the penalties were at best comical and at worst … well for legal reasons we’ll leave it there. The Chesmain tackle last night, had it occurred in front of a baying, feral bank of home fans, would have generated a riot of noise. What happened next would have depended on what kind of referee we’d had.
The 2016 ref would unquestionably have given it. Both awards that day were an obvious case of a referee caving in to home pressure and what was blatant cheating by Stuart Lewis (which of course didn’t stop us from signing him.)
It doesn’t necessarily follow that this referee would have caved, however. Some are pre-disposed to ignore crowd noise and in some cases almost seem put off by it. Without having seen it, it’s impossible to tell whether the home side any sympathy.
(Is it bollocks. Penalty or no penalty, fuck ’em.)
3: DARYL WAS A LUQUE BASTARD
This interview with Joan Luque offered a genuine insight into what a semi-pro player’s life is actually like and the inherent shithousery involved. It also leads us to a couple of conclusions. 1) His girlfriend must have been fit if she broke up with a rock like that 2) Why does the myth endure that MacMahon is a better manager than, e.g. JS1, when he spent millions getting Gravesend promoted via the play-offs at the second attempt? Why is one at Dagenham and the other at Margate?
4: DERBY COUNTERS
Are we actually as shit at Kent derbies as the online commentariat might have you believe? In the last two seasons our record is P7 W2 D3 L2, in the league, if you count Welling as (a) in Kent and (b) a derby. This isn’t great but nor is it anyone’s idea of a jinx. Throw in last season’s FA Trophy win over Dartford and ignore the Kent Senior Cup (generally sensible advice) and it really isn’t that bad at all.
5: THE CLASH
Red v Purple? Come on lads.
6: FIRST RECUSAL
On Wednesday morning, a retired league league official, friendly to the site, gave us his thoughts on the NL funding fiasco. He argued it violated all sense of fair play to have member clubs deciding on the allocations. It was standard practice for members to leave the room when their clubs were being discussed. It should have been done by an independent party, or the FA and he didn’t think they’d get away with it, in the long run at least. “People have long memories,” he said, ominously. Although at this point neither of us had any idea of the entertainment to follow …
7: CLEVER TREVOR
… The open letter bomb was dropped at lunch time, along with jaws up and down the twittersphere.
The first reaction was one of disbelief. Do they let him drive in that condition? And then you start to wonder about the process. Did he write that himself? Someone must have seen it before it went live, did no one think to warn him, or were they afraid of the reaction? Did his counter-signers actually bother to read it, or are they going to try and Iain Duncan Smith their way out of it? What did they think was going to happen? Did they honestly think there’d be no reaction? Did the shafters actually expect gratitude from the shaftees?
The chances of a professional PR person signing off on that are close to zero. It’s just possible that a harassed, untrained official might have waved it through, fearful of the repercussions of querying it. But did all those other clubs really give it the ok? Was there no a single media operative who said: “hang on lads, this might sound a bit mad?” Or is there another explanation?
On one level it’s incredible. On another, if you are one of the big nine (or is it ten?) it’s a huge boost, as the board’s remaining credibility has been flushed down the Junior Hoillett. Which doesn’t mean they won’t get away with it. (See Johnson, B and Gove, M).
Incidentally, while it’s great that Helen Grant has taken time off from doing, well, whatever it is she does while her bosses dismantle every last remaining fragment of decency this nation once possessed, to so sign a letter of support, the entire £20 million in question is still one million less than a middle man was given for this …
8: BE KIND?
This site had always taken the view that a society is judged by how it treats its most vulnerable members, but after reading Dover’s answer to Emile Zola I had to wonder if the right-wingers have a point. Just as they say there’s no point in giving beggars money if they’re just going to spend it on meths, is there any point giving a football club money if they’re just going to spend on players that get humped 5–1 by Woking?
Peace out.
